Nov 14, 2011

Top places you DON'T want 2 visit on your roadtrip.

1. ELM St (SpringWood, Ohio)

If you ever pass by an ELM ST. I urge you to continue driving and at ALL costs avoid staying over night anywhere NEAR this location. ELM ST. is one hell of town that has quite the bloody history && if you have kids then you definitely want to try and avoid the state of Ohio. Regardless of it's history though this Street seems to increase in notoriety and is almost as popular as the "number 1 sex offender in that hemisphere" that inhabits the town. His name as you all must know already is....
FREDDY KRUEGER!!!!!!!!!

Come through this town and your either;
A. Asking to never sleep again
B. Asking to see what it's like for blades to grace you violently.
or.....
C. Asking for directions to our next location that you want to avoid....



  

2. Camp Crystal Lake(Location:Unknown)

Though the exact location for this wonderful and scenic camp is unknown, there is one lead that takes us to Gainesville, Florida in present time where a camp with this name actually exists.

Here are some of the reasons you would want to avoid this location:
  • Jason Voorhees: He is a tortured deformed lil soul who has quite the track record or should I say "kill" record when it comes to supernaturally strong serial killers/mass murders. He yields most often times a machete that would even make Rambo yelp in fear because of it's size. As of today, this murderer has killed over 178 people and here are some of the ways he has done it (check graphic). 
If that isn't a reason to avoid this camp like the plague maybe these people are:
  • Pamela Voorhees: Now nothing is more fierce and scary than a woman, let alone a mother, who is seeking revenge in her son's name. This mother makes even the worst of in-laws look holy. She worked at the camp originally as the cook before she decided she would rather kill slutty and annoying kids instead for a living. This new career path means that you may be one her targets. 
  • Slutty camp counselors + shitty workers = bloodbath!

Do you really want to get off the exit for this one?  
3.Wax Museum in Ambrose

Half of you right now are probably asking yourselves what the hell is an Ambrose and where is it?!?! While the other half of you are probably asking yourselves what the hell is wrong with visiting a Wax Museum?!?
Well the short answers to these questions is A) I don't know where Ambrose is but if you see an exit for it just ignore it && B) Never question my posts. 

The Wax museum in Ambrose is one of those places that you want to avoid if you don't want half of your vacation allowance to be sucked from your wallets or if you if you didn't have a "wax" in mind on your road trip.

(I mean unless this happens to turn you on------>)


Other than that single lil' shred of naked goodness..your asking to become a part of the town's historic museum forever just by setting foot in the surrounding woods. So NO breaks, not even to piss. Just invest in some adult Walmart diapers, your much better off in the long run.

Others who have not heeded my warning have all shared a similar fate.
Just take a look:  
Pole through the head.
Wax Makeover.


Tendon Cut.


All of this death because no one like to listen to me...Can anyone say "burn"?

4. Overlook Hotel aka Stanley Hotel
Next location that I suggest waiting to "fill your gas tank up in the next town over" is this remarkable hotel with a ghostly history.
Some of the inhabitants of this hotel are:

The Twins: and not the kind you bring home.
The alcoholic with a love for Movie Lines.

The Hottie then Nottie in Room 237

Lloyd, the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde of the group
And MOST of all you want to avoid this scooby-douche and his round up gang at the hotel:
If you choose not to listen to me and stay at the hotel then make sure you pack for a lifetime and include a bunch of extra footed pajamas in your suitcase too because your guaranteed to get snowed in.Oh and don't forget to send me a postcard.




5. Silent Hill

Population: Zero
Some towns should never be entered.
This is one of them.
This town is definitely not one to be messed with. Often times people crash their vehicles near this town which ultimately pulls them into the town looking for help. But it's not only the unexplained vehicle malfunctions that should make you want to avoid this town like poision ivy, but the unexplained dissappearances as well. So unless you have someone along for your road trip that you could do without...TAKE THE DETOUR.
And avoid meeting this bitch.
To be Con't.

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